


In Good Faith We Swap Our Aces

by WInger



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Facebook, Gen, Humor, M/M, Member Swap, Shenanigans, Team Bonding, Teams, Texting, The Team and Their Aces
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 05:44:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5816434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WInger/pseuds/WInger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So many questions. Will Oikawa break down first, or Akaashi? Is Bokuto the bigger alien, or Ushiwaka? Who really sent a lamb for slaughter - Daichi or Kuroo? Are bonds being made or broken? What exactly is Karasuno scheming? What kind of purpose is this activity meant to achieve? And just who does this sort of arrangement please? </p><p>---</p><p>“Let’s keep him,” Suga said after practice, in a tone of voice that indicated he wasn’t asking.</p><p>Daichi nodded. “It’s too soon, we can’t appear hasty. But I promise to put forth a formal request by Wednesday.”</p><p>---</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Start the week right!

**Author's Note:**

> Bite-sized humor in a list of five.

The ace swap was big enough of a deal that Aoba Johsai actually had to come in for volleyball practice on Monday morning. They received Bokuto Koutarou from Fukurodani first thing, and funnily enough he came with a handwritten letter taped onto his back from his setter/babysitter - that Oikawa immediately discarded without opening, of course.

The rest of the team were paying especially close attention to their captain's behavior. This could be attributed to Hanamaki and Matsukawa, who had started betting behind his back on how long Oikawaa would last until he melted down from Iwaizumi’s absence. Thing was, Oikawa seemed fine. Gaudy as usual, even when faced with Bokuto’s extraordinary levels of exuberance. He lead introductions during practice, made everyone promise to play nice, and even volunteered to be the one to bring Bokuto around school for the rest of the week.

He was being uncharacteristically sincere in his helpfulness, so much so that Hanamaki was doubting the thousand yen he’d so confidently put down for _two days max._ Contrary to initial expectations, Bokuto and Oikawa seemed to share many personality traits that made them compatible with each other, such as being sociable, attention-loving, and having a thing for excessive volleyball.

The interaction between setter and ace was so peaceful that even their coaches had something to say about it. “Has Oikawa ever been this genuinely pleasant?” Coach Mizoguchi asked. No one answered him, but no one needed to. “I hate to break this to you, bro,” Hanamaki spat sourly to his phone, barely keeping his voice lowered at the back of the gymnasium. “But empirical evidence shows that Oikawa isn’t a perpetual asshole without you. In fact, _you_ may be the enabler that brings out the worst in _him.”_

“Harsh,” Matsukawa commented.

* * *

 

The person that came to Fukurodani was another alien hailing from a planet further away and colder than the one Bokuto Koutarou had sprouted from. Akaashi was not amused, but did his best not to show it. After all, with Bokuto-san gone for a week, there were a great number of things that Akaashi had to do. He was the stand-in captain, and now was his chance to: a) display his leadership qualities to the coaches, and b) prove that the Fukurodani volleyball team was actually comprised of mature and capable individuals. This was his chance to start things afresh and do things right. He also had to look after Ushijima Wakatoshi to the best of his abilities, and it goes without saying that Akaashi could handle all of that on his platter without a single issue. Of course he could handle it. Akaashi's patience was legendary, after all. 

The words “Are you lost?” fell out of his mouth as soon as he looked up to face the temporary transfer from Shiratorizawa. _Fuck, too harsh_. He was hyper-aware of the fact that the rest of the team were quietly watching him from behind. He thought he could hear Sarukui cough.

Oddly, the big guy nodded back at him. “I’m Ushijima Wakatoshi.”

“Akaashi Keiji. Would you like to join our practices?” _Instead of just staring from the sidelines like you’ve done for the past ten minutes?_

Ushijima’s poker-face was excellent. Impassively he explained to Akaashi, “I’ll just like to observe for today, if you don’t mind.”

Akaashi couldn’t lose to that face. He quietly stared back into olive green eyes, looking for condescendence. There wasn’t any. It seemed like Ushijima was only being himself: dead, densely serious.

“Alright,” Akaashi said, backing off after a five-second stare down. His team looked over at him with interest as he jogged back to them.

“You’re destined for weirdos,” said Konoha, irritatingly gleeful. Even Washio and Onaga had tiny smiles on their faces.

Akaashi just sighed.

* * *

 

Karasuno sent off Azumane Asahi and got Iwaizumi Hajime in return, and while the first day wasn’t even half over, Daichi was already feeling tempted to loudly exclaim what an excellent deal they’d gotten. Him, Suga and Kiyoko had been exchanging meaningful glances the entire day; he knew that the other two felt the same way as him.

Iwaizumi was _impressive_ , to sum it up in one word. Polite, respectful, sincere, and decent to his very core. His efforts to get along with everybody was going extremely well. Daichi had initially worried that Noya might be affected by the swap the most, but he had taken to Iwaizumi with surprising grace. Tanaka, probably influenced by his seniors, was less rowdy and seemed to be paying close attention to the way Seijou’s ace carried himself on and off the court. As for the first years… Well, they were being themselves as usual. But there seemed to be less of a sarcastic undercurrent to Tsukishima’s voice when he spoke to Iwaizumi as compared to when he spoke to the Tokyo captains. Iwaizumi judged their preferences for personal space well, and while he only gave Tsukishima acknowledging nods and smiles, he ruffled Kageyama and Hinata’s hair often and thumped Yamaguchi powerfully on the back whenever he set one of his pinch serves right. Daichi wouldn’t have done anything differently himself.

Speaking of Kageyama, he was clearly the one happiest out of all with this arrangement. Daichi couldn’t unsee (though Suga insisted that it was just the light) the shiny, tearful, glimmer of pride in the usually stoic setter’s eyes when Iwaizumi praised his jump serve as: “What the hell, this is basically Oikawa’s serve.”

“Let’s keep him,” Suga said after practice, in a tone of voice that indicated he wasn’t asking.

Daichi nodded. “It’s too soon, we can’t appear hasty. But I promise to put forth a formal request by Wednesday.”

* * *

 

Asahi kept wiping his sweaty hands against his pants, but no matter how many times he did they just wouldn’t remain dry. _Calm down, Asahi,_ he told himself, and started to count backwards from 1000. _You know this people already, anyway!_

And he did. Asahi considered himself blessed when he found out that he would be exchanging to Nekoma – this would have been his first choice, if he could pick, and he was extremely glad he didn’t have to go to the scary schools like Seijou or Shiratorizawa. And Yachi, ever helpful, had loaned him a notebook filled to the brim with information on the Nekoma players. He’d told himself that he would memorize all of it by Sunday, but nothing would stay in his head. He had been too nervous all weekend to do anything else besides, well, worry. 

“Good morning…?” He’d practiced his opening in front of the bathroom mirror thousands of times and at the very least he could form that without stammering. There was however still a slight, persistent quiver to his tone. “I’m Azumane Asahi from Karasuno, here for the exchange…”

“Oh, you’re early.” Nekoma’s captain came over to him. “Come on in, the first years are still setting up. You can put your stuff down in the clubroom.”

“Um,” Asahi started awkwardly. He remembered this guy. Nekoma’s captain was basically _Daichi ver.2._ “I’m sorry to ask this, but do you mind giving me an introduction to the members on Nekoma’s team? I kinda know your personalities and positions, but I don’t remember your names…”

“Oh. Sure, no worries.” The captain flashed him a smile that was both sincere and amused at the same time. That was such a Daichi smile. “Do you remember me?”

“Kuroo-san…”

“Kuroo Testuro. Drop the –san. And here,” he pointed to a small, lithe member in inverse Nekoma colors. “That’s Yaku Morisuke, our libero.” Ah, the _Suga ver.2._

“Kozume Kenma, our setter.” That’s the _anti-Kageyama._

“Our energetic first-year, Inuoka Sou.” _Hinata ver. 2._

“That’s the vice-captain, Nobuyuki Kai.” Shit, this person doesn’t have a Karasuno counterpart. Maybe… Ennoshita? _Ennoshita ver. 2,_ then.

“And that’s our ace, Taketora Yamamoto.” _I strongly remember him,_ thought Asahi. _Tanaka ver. 2_. But wait a second.

“Your ace? Didn’t you… Exchange him to another school?” Oh crap. Did Asahi mess up? Why was Yamamoto-kun still at Nekoma? Was Asahi supposed to go somewhere else instead?

“Nah man, don’t worry about.” Kuroo patted him on the back. “We just sent off our _wannabe_ -ace, first-year Haiba Lev, to Shiratorizawa. Close enough.”

Asahi’s mouth fell open. He felt a sudden, immense surge of pity for that poor first-year – this was exactly like sending a lamb to slaughter.

“If… If you don't mind me asking… Why?”

“I have to groom Yamamoto to become next year’s captain, so he couldn’t go.” Kuroo explained. “And of course, this will be an eye-opening experience for Lev! I already know that spending a week at Shiratorizawa would be good for his maturity levels. As his captain, how could I have held him back from an opportunity as great as this?” Kuroo’s words were benign enough, but his eyes screamed mirth, and the way he was looking at Asahi… It was almost like rather than laughing at Lev-kun’s fate, as his words would have suggested, he was laughing at Asahi’s fate instead.

 _He’s going to treat me like Daichi on extra caffeine,_ Asahi thought gloomily, resigning himself.

* * *

 

_You have 2 new messages from Haiba Lev!_

Lev _(11.55 PM)_ : OMG Kuroo-san please please pleaseeeee ask them to send me back I’m super sincerely ultra sorry for whatever I did to annoy you or Yaku-san or Kenma or any of the others so badly that you decided to send me off to Shiratorizawa please I promise I’ll change when I come back can you please let me come back please they’re so scary here omg I’ve never said so many pleases in my entire life

Lev _(2.30 PM)_ : KUROO-SAN PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE

 

_5 missed calls from Haiba Lev!_

 

_4 new messages from Haiba Lev!_

Lev _(3.12 PM):_ PLEASE

Lev _(3.12 PM):_ IM BEGGING YOU WITH MY LIFE

Lev _(3.12 PM):_ IM SO SORRY

Lev _(3.12 PM):_ LET ME COME BACK PLEASE

 

Kuroo ( _3.30 PM_ ): Get lost

_Would you like to mute this chat for 8 months, 1 week or 1 year?_

_You have chosen to mute the chat with Haiba Lev for 1 week!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Answer: Kageyama is pleased.


	2. Tuesday the other Monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Practice, I daresay, is progressing smoothly. 
> 
> \---
> 
> Lev (3.01 PM): SO NOW IM TEXTING YOU FROM THE INSIDE OF THE SUPPLY CLOSET AS MY AIR SUPPLY RUNS OUT BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T BOTHER TO POKE SOME HOLES FOR MY VENTILATION IM BEGGING YOU WITH THE LAST OF MY LIVING BREATHS LET ME COME BACK PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
> 
> \---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lev's pretty popular here, isn't he? It's a shame that Shiratorizawa doesn't feel the same way.

Obviously, even if the entire team was on par with having Iwaizumi integrated into Karasuno, it was of equal importance that the guy himself was on board with the idea. And so came part one of Suga’s plan: in order to subtly drive that message home, he paid double the price just for his order to be able to arrive during Tuesday afternoon. 

“A new jersey!!” Hinata cried, loud enough to capture everybody’s attention. With Coach Ukai nodding behind him, Suga gave Daichi _a look_ as his captain waved Iwaizumi over.

“This is… For me?” Iwaizumi asked, voice neutral.

Daichi nodded, unflinchingly (shamelessly) serious. He passed the clothes to Iwaizumi with both hands, then bowed slightly and shouted, “Please treat Karasuno kindly!”

“Ossu!!” The others reflexively yelled along. Iwaizumi turned red.

“Oh, you guys didn’t have to-“

“We had it printed in your Seijou number, too,” Kiyoko added, smiling and tucking a hair behind her ear.

“Uh,” said Iwaizumi, scratching the back of his head with a small smile on his stupefied face – ah, the Kiyoko effect. _Gotcha,_ thought Suga. “Thanks, I’ll change into it immediately.”

“Black suits you, Iwaizumi-kun,” he said later, after Iwaizumi reappeared in his new jersey. “Smile!” He quickly snapped a picture of Iwaizumi (with the added bonus of a starry-eyed Kageyama in the background) and sent it off. Part two of Suga’s plan: ensure that his previous teammates also got the memo that Iwaizumi wasn’t going back.

* * *

 

Seijou’s break time today was unusually noisy as Bokuto-san chatted about anything with everybody despite the fact that nobody was able to keep up with him. Even Yahaba was running out of patience. This was only broken when Hanamaki suddenly jumped up excitedly and yelled, “Status update from Iwaizumi!” Everyone crowded around his phone for a look, except for Oikawa, who was staring very intensely at his.

“Is that your ace in Karasuno’s jersey? Wow, good form!”

Kindaichi saw Hanamaki and Matsukawa fist-bump. “Captain, don’t you wanna see this?” Hanamaki called.

The way Oikawa looked over at them sent chills racing down Kindaichi’s spine, and he unconsciously took a step back. “Ow,” someone growled (shit that sounded like Kyoutani). Oikawa was making one of his deliberately forced expressions – a smile that stretched across his entire face and lit up his eyes but in a maniacal way, like a snake smiling. “I saw, Mr. Refreshing-kun just sent me some.”

Dead silence. Everyone was curious, but nobody dared to ask for a look - except for Bokuto, of course.

“Who’s that? And can we see?”

Oikawa wordlessly handed his phone over to him. The rest of them shamelessly crowded around Bokuto for a look. There were various shots of Iwaizumi, some candid, all very handsome, and Karasuno’s vice-captain had added a message to the pictures. ‘Iwaizumi-kun is working very well with our team! :)’

Hesitantly, Kindaichi made the decision to check on his captains' face again. Oikawa’s expression had morphed into a blank one that was just as intimidating. But it looks like for now that Tuesday wasn't going to be it, either. 

* * *

 

To Akaashi’s apprehension, he found Ushijima setting up the volleyball nets in the gymnasium all by himself, fifteen minutes before club practice was due to start. He saw Akaashi coming over and nodded. “I’ll like to have one-to-one spiking practices with you today,” he said, without a greeting or anything.

“Good afternoon. Of course, Ushijima-san.” _Stop it_ , he chided himself. _Think positive._

“Just one-to-one practice. With you.” Ushijima emphasized. _Oh,_ thought Akaashi.

The rest of the team eventually filed in. Just slightly after practice took off, Akaashi went to have a word with the coaches.

“Ushijima-san means to practice spiking with me for the whole of this practice.” He stated, eyes questioning. Coach nodded his approval. “Well, if that’s how Shiratorizawa does things. We’ll see how effective it really is.”

Akaashi nodded and turned back to the court. He  _was_ used to Bokuto demanding similarly of him, after hours at that, and he had long since transcended the need to physically express feelings of resignation with his body. He _might_ have had the initial thought that with Bokuto out of the way for a bit, he’ll have more opportunities to improve his sets with the other members, but well, since Ushijima was here. It’s not like Akaashi was _too_ greatly disappointed or anything. 

“Akaashi-kun.” But one must admit,the way Ushijima spoke exclusively in full stops was _slightly_  annoying, since it made everything he said sound like irrefutable commands – “If you don’t mind, I'll like to stay with you after club activities to keep practicing our coordination until it reaches a satisfactory level.”

Akaashi sighed without sighing.  _Just think positive._

* * *

 

“Azumanane-kun!” Kuroo called. “Your time at Nekoma will be spent buddying with different members of the volleyball club for each day. Today you can pair with our libero, Yaku Morisuke.”

“N-Nice to meet you,” Asahi said, bowing nervously. He’d heard that Yaku was sensitive about his height, and sincerely hoped that the way he bowed didn’t come off as patronizing or anything.

“You always say that when you see me!” Yaku laughed. He really gave off Suga-vibes when he smiled like that. “And stop bowing to me all the time, too!”

“Yes, Yaku-san…”

“Drop the suffix.”

“Yes, sir. Um…”

At that, Yaku exhaled a laugh through his nose, but not apparently at Asahi. He was gazing at somewhere behind him. Asahi turned and saw Kuroo and his vice-captain wearing grins, though neither of them were looking their way. Huh, weird. Wait no, hang on. Were they- were the three of them laughing at him?

That thought bubbled worriedly to the top of his mind, but it wasn’t like he could just blurt it out and confront Yaku about it – especially not when he was  _Suga ver.2_  sans the mischievousness and peculiar sense of humor - basically Suga without the scary parts - How could Asahi ever get mad at a guy like that? But the thought of being laughed at was triggering his nerves, and his palms were starting to sweat, and crap, maybe there really was something about himself that he needed to improve-

“Azumane-kun? You with me?” Asahi blinked out of his stupor to see Yaku’s arms waving across his face.

“Ah, yes! Sorry about that, I kind of…”

Then he heard something that was clearly meant to be a whisper but ended up carrying across the room: “Oh holy _shit_ , Yaku-san just did jumping jacks to get Azumanae-san’s attention.”

 _Oh crap,_ thought Asahi. _I made him jump to get my attention. His height issues!_ But before he could start apologizing, Yaku took off. He pounced onto a stray volleyball, tossed it up, and served it to the head of the Nekoma member who had whispered. The guy took the hard smack directly to the top of his head and went down like a sack of potatoes - comatose, or worse, dead - in fact, this was the exact kind of serve Asahi had been expecting from Oikawa when Kageyama described how “deadly” they were in the past.

“Did I hear something,” Yaku snarled rhetorically, nice guy act and Asahi’s trust in him flying straight out of the window.

Asahi covered his mouth and meeped. 

* * *

 

_You have 7 new messages from Haiba Lev!_

Lev _(3.00 PM):_ YAKU-SAN

Lev _(3.00 PM):_ Please you have to save me from Shiratorizawa the people here are CRAZY for real im not even exaggerating u know how they all have these ultra weird hairdos and so I commented on it and then next thing I knew ALL OF THEM JUMPED ME AT ONCE AND LOCKED ME INSIDE THE SUPPLY CLOSET

Lev _(3.01 PM):_ SO NOW IM TEXTING YOU FROM THE INSIDE OF THE SUPPLY CLOSET AS MY AIR SUPPLY RUNS OUT BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T BOTHER TO POKE SOME HOLES FOR MY VENTILATION IM BEGGING YOU WITH THE LAST OF MY LIVING BREATHS LET ME COME BACK PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Lev _(3.01 PM):_ PLEASEEEEEE

Lev _(3.01 PM):_ I FEEL THE DARK WALLS CLOSING IN

Lev _(3.01 PM):_ AIR IS… RUNNING OUT…

Lev _(3.01 PM):_ PLEASE… YAKU-SAN! YOU’RE MY… LAST…

Yaku _(3.01 PM):_ FUCK OFF!

_Would you like to mute this chat for 8 months, 1 week or 1 year?_

_You have chosen to mute the chat with Haiba Lev for 1 week!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra: KARASUNO
> 
> "Should I put a winking smiley or just a normal smiley?" Suga asked Daichi. 
> 
> "Normal. Remember, subtlety is key."


	3. Up The Ante

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And raise the bar. 
> 
> \---
> 
> “Fuck it Kuro, you lost us _another one?_ ”
> 
> “Look, let’s not point fingers at one another and instead remember that you, Kai and I are _all_ responsible for the team- _There he is! GO!_ ”
> 
> \---

Come Wedsneday, the coaches of Aoba Johsai dropped a bomb on the unnaturally peaceful volleyball practice that Seijou had been enjoying - in the form of a brand-new white and blue jersey, size XL, with the number 4 and the name “BOKUTO” printed on its back.

“Adults,” Hanamaki winked at Matsukawa, who grinned back. The rest of them held their breaths and swiveled their heads to watch Oikawa’s reaction. “Bokuto-kun,” he said, personally bringing the clothes to their newest member. “You sure are a big fellow, huh? Our last ace only outgrew size S this year!”

There was a smattering of coughs as everyone refrained from guffawing under the direct gazes of the coaches. Bokuto took the jersey starry-eyed and thanked them.

“This is awesome! You didn’t have to! Thanks!”

“Actually it was the captain’s idea.”

Everyone on the team, sans Oikawa, inhaled sharply. There was a triumphant light shining in Oikawa’s eyes as the oblivious Bokuto turned to him. “Well I didn’t want you to stand out like a sore thumb during practice. And you get to keep it as a souvenir afterwards!”

“You thought that far for _me_? Thanks, Oikawa!” Saying so, Bokuto immediately took off his own jersey and pulled his new one on. The entire team was treated to an eyeful of a Hulk-sized 8-pack, Calvin Klein underwear, shredded arms and Adonis legs. Not only did none of them turn away, but Oikawa immediately whipped out his phone with a whistle and chirped, " _Whoop_! Gonna spam this to the Karasuno losers and the who-le fucking world on my contacts, from Mr. Refreshing-kun and his Iwaizumi-kun..." His voice lost volume as mumbled on, focused as he was on typing his captions. "Ungrateful lying motherfucking mother of sluts and fuckers, that's what they are..."

“Shit!” Watari swore, not quietly enough (though the Captain was too preoccupied to notice). Unless Oikawa really lost his shit - and no, "Iwaizumi-kun" didn't count, because Oikawa might be losing steam, but he was still functioning - by the end of today, both him and Kindaichi were going to lose their bet money.

“What’s gotten into Captain?” Kindaichi was heard whispering, after everyone dispersed. Nobody had an answer for him.

* * *

 

Akaashi showed up for practice on Wednesday like a man on a mission. “Starting warm-ups!” He called, breaking into a jog as soon as he put down his belongings in the clubroom. “10 laps around the track, go!” Then he was out of the front door, leading the rest of the team into their run.

‘Akaashi, wait for us!” Konoha yelled. Similar shouts rang out from the others, but Akaashi didn’t have the time to spare them a glance. “Keep up!” He shouted back instead. It wasn’t as though the others couldn’t match his pace.

For the record, Akaashi wasn’t running away from anything. Or anyone. He was just leading morning practices as usual – this was something that Fukurodani always did, only yesterday Akaashi had been distracted by something else. Which was why today they had to run double.

“ _Akaaaaaa_ shi,” Komi whined. “10 laps is too much!”

“Please don’t imitate Bokuto-san.”

“Hey hey hey!!” Washio added with a grin, even wiggling his brows.

“Who’s gonna be the best! Who’s the best now, huh?! Who’s Fukurodani’s best?!” Konoha shouted from the back between pants.

“Tell me my hair looks like a great horned owl!”

“Please stop.” Despite his words, Akaashi could feel the corners of his own mouth tug upwards.

“Would you please let me in on the joke?” Another voice cut in politely. The others fell silent – Komi tripped in his haste to shut up – and Akaashi felt the heavy responsibility of Captain-sitter sink from his chest straight to his stomach. Why had he assumed in the first place that Ushijima wouldn’t be able to keep up?

“… My captain is fond of owls.” He explained at last, after struggling internally to come up with something that wouldn’t portray either Bokuto’s or Fukurodani’s level of intelligence badly.

He turned and saw quite clearly that the joke still hadn’t reached Ushijima. He decided then to add: “It’s a joke that’s been running for three years,” slightly apologetically. Then he thought about it some more.

“My captain is Bokuto Koutarou.”

“I am aware. Bokuto-kun is ranked number four on the list of the high school aces in this country, just behind me.”

Somebody behind them coughed and hastily muffled himself, but Ushijima wasn’t done.

“Would you say that I am more difficult to set to, or Bokuto-kun?”

“Your spiking styles are kind of similar, actually.” He answered after some thought. He was being honest. The both of them enjoyed being the main attacking power in the court, front and center of the team. In fact, Akaashi was guessing from the way Ushijima behaved that he probably had a good number of setters in Shiratorizawa trained like show dogs to set to him and him only... But wait. Something didn’t feel quite right.

“You don’t think that my left hand spikes are difficult to get used to?”

“That’s… Just a matter of time.” Akaashi’s thoughts were spinning. What about himself then, as a setter?

“Is it difficult for you to adjust to an attack strategy centered entirely around the ace spiker?”

Washio answered for him. “Well… Not really, because Akaashi has always been pretty dedicated to Bokuto over here.”

 _Oh shit._ Akaashi’s heart sank even further at that. “You think I’m _dedicated_ to Bokuto-san?”

“Huh?” Washio frowned at him. “What kind of question is that?”

“Obviously! In more ways than one.” The others had regained their confidence and were being noisy again.

“Setter _and_ babysitter!”

“You even wrote that letter for him to Aoba Johsai!”

“Aoba Johsai?” Ushijima repeated, perking up.

* * *

 

_FORMAL REQUEST FOR PERMENANT TRANSFER OF AOBA JOHSAI’S ACE TO KARASUNO_

As the captain of Karasuno’s Men’s Volleyball Club, I would like to put forth a formal request asking for Iwaizumi Hajime, Aoba Johsai’s ace, to be permanently transferred to Karasuno.

My reasons for that are because Iwaizumi-kun is hardworking, caring, confident, and powerful – the top four traits that every volleyball club ace should possess. Of course, there are other aspects to his personality that make him out to be such a capable individual, but I won’t delve into details because there isn't enough space on this piece of paper to cover everything. Furthermore, the four qualities I chose to highlight are immediately apparent just by observing Iwaizumi-kun’s performance during practice. Look at the way he handles Kageyama. Just look at it. Have you ever seen Kageyama so chatty or smile-ready in all of the time ever since he enrolled into Karasuno? I think not. And it's a genuine smile, not like the grimaces he gives to children under five, like Hinata. For another example, look no further than the way he treats Kiyoko. Clearly he's impressed by her beauty, grace and wit like the rest of us, but he behaves in a mature, gentlemanly manner, such as by making appropriate compliments and small talk, as opposed to running around and shrieking like virgins (see: Noya and Tanaka). In fact, his mannerisms are so outstanding that those two have actually been influenced by him to behave _politely_ for the first time in their 16 years on this planet. He's not even consciously trying to, but he's already improved the personalities of our various members by so much. What kind of a living miracle _is_ this man? And what kind of a captain would I be if I don't snatch him up when the opportunity to do so presents itself to me? 

Like I said, I could go on and on, but I don't want to take up too much of your time. With your approval, I would like to inform the other club members of our decisions and plans, and then send a similar request form to Aoba Johsai for their review.

Sincerely,

Sawamura Daichi

CO-SIGNED/CO-WRITTEN BY: Sugawara Koushi, Kiyoko Shimizu

  

Ukai looked at the form in his hand, and then back at the third-years standing in front of him. He was trying to come up with an appropriate reply. At first (since Takeru-sensei wasn’t here) he was going to say “What the fuck, of course not,” and then chortle heartily with the kids, but they were wearing such serious expressions. The desire to laugh the whole thing off was quashed with the realization that this ‘Formal Request’ was not, in fact, a joke.

What the fuck, they were _serious_.

“Sorry… We can’t.”

* * *

 

Asahi was pondering over the way practice had gone over yesterday as he headed to the gym. Halfway through practice, Yaku’s phone had rang incessantly, and at the irritated glances from the coaches he’d gone to mute it. He’d been moody when he returned afterwards, and then as soon as practice ended he’d jump-kicked Kuroo out of the gym without provocation or explanation. The two of them took off in a chase, Yaku swearing at a cackling Kuroo, and left vice-captain Nobuyuki to close up everything else. It had been pretty scary. He was imagining what if a scenario like this took place at Karasuno - god knows Asahi wouldn’t have been able to react as calmly as Nobuyuki did. He’ll be the first one to bolt for sure. 

Given all that, he was really hoping for today to be as peaceful as yesterday wasn’t. When Kuroo called him over to assign him his Wednesday buddy (holy moly, there were bruises on his _neck_ ), he tried to hint that he wanted to be paired with Nobuyuki by meaningfully sliding his gaze in the vice-captain’s direction. Only Nobuyuki was busy with his phone and didn’t look back, and by then Kuroo had decided that his buddy for the day was to be Kenma.

 _Oh_ , thought Asahi. Well, that shouldn’t be too bad. Kenma felt pretty tame, and struck Asahi as apathetic but easygoing. Kind of as easygoing as himself, actually.

“Hey, where’d Kenma go? Damn it!”

That question struck Asahi as weird. What was Kuroo saying? He looked up from his thoughts and saw the Nekoma members milling about with frowns on their faces.

“No idea, Cap’n.”

“I think I saw him in the clubroom just now…”

“Fuck it Kuro, you lost us _another one?”_

“Look, let’s not point fingers at one another and instead remember that you, Kai and I are _all_ responsible for the team- _There he is! G0!”_

And every single Nekoma member dropped whatever they were doing and sprinted in the direction Kuroo pointed at. Sneakers squeaked noisily across the floor as they thundered past Asahi towards their target. He was shocked at their sudden bout of synchronized running. What were they all doing? Was he supposed to join them? But what were they even running at? Cautiously, Asahi went to the gymnasium door and stared after the backs of the Nekoma team members.

“Kenma don't even! Just stop running you know  _you’ll never make it to Karasuno like that anyways!!!_ ”

“KENMA! KARASUNO’S RYU TOLD ME THAT IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY LIKE BIGGER ANIMALS, CATS ARE KNOWN TO STAND THEIR GROUND AND ROAR BACK, NO MATTER HOW SCARY OR TOUGH-LOOKING THEY MAY SEEM!”

 _“_ Tora _shut the fuck up_ and catch him!”

That did nothing but added on to Asahi’s growing confusion and worry. After considering his options, he decided the wisest option for now was to retreat and wait things out in a safe, bombproof underground shelter, when all of a sudden a heavy man-paw grabbed him on the left shoulder. His spirit tried jump out of his skin, but the man-paw was so strong it kept him grounded on the spot. “Asahi-kun,” boomed the gravelly voice of Coach Nekomata, right into his ear. “Go after them and bring back our brain.”

 _Brain?_ What on earth was he talking about? Wasn’t it Kenma that the others were chasing to Miyagi? Whose brain? Missing brain? _Was somebody brain dead?_ Oh god, oh no, why did this have to happen right when Asahi was here-

“Asahi-kun _._ Pay attention to me, _”_ the coach commanded, and pushed him forward. Asahi knees gave out, but the coach kept standing by grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him close, face to face, breath to breath – good lord, that was some impressive arm strength for a man as old as him. “Brain. Get. _Now_. What did I just say?”

“B-B-Brain. I, I got it. You said it to g-go get it. I, I-”

“ _Brain.”_

* * *

 

_You have two messages from Haiba Lev!_

Lev _(2.43 PM):_ Kai-senpai

Lev _(2.43 PM):_ Please

Kai _(2.45 PM):_ Are you super sincerely ultra sorry or locked in that supply closet still?

Lev _(2.46 PM):_ … You guys DON'T BELIEVE THAT I WAS LOCKED UP??!

Lev _(2.46 PM):_ how do you type in ITALICS for text msg like seriosuly???

Lev _(2.46 PM):_ I REALLY WAS LOCKED IN THAT STINKY CRAMPED SUPPLY CLOSET WITH A MOP SHORTER THAN ME GOSHIKI DID IT

Lev _(2.46 PM):_ I HAVE BRUISES AND MARKS ALL OVER MY LEGS FOR BEING STUCK IN THAT SMALL CONFINED SPACE FOR SO LONG YOU KNOW HOW MY BODY IS WAY TOO BIG FOR THAT

Kai _(2.48 PM):_ yeah okay.

Lev _(2.48 PM):_ IAMENOT LYING!!!!!

Lev _(2.48 PM): *_ I AM NOT

Lev _(2.49 PM):_ KAI-SENPAI PLEASE BELIEVE ME

Lev _(2.49 PM):_ SENPAI?

_Would you like to mute this chat for 8 months, 1 week or 1 year?_

_You have chosen to mute the chat with Haiba Lev for 1 week!_

 

 

_You have two messages from Haiba Lev!_

Lev _(2.50 PM):_ KENMA

Lev _(2.51 PM):_ Will you please just give me 5 minutes of your time

Kenma _(2.53 PM):_ make it short im on the run cant talk much

Lev _(2.53 PM):_ WHAT why who are you on the run from???

Lev _(2.54 PM):_ Okay okay forget I asked sorry

Lev _(2.54 PM):_ Can you tell Kai-senpai to unblock me please thank you I msged him

Kenma _(2.56 PM):_ kruo’s crazy he wants me to train karasu’s gangster n I cant talk to kai now im not there

Lev _(2.57 PM):_ GOSHIT THEYRE COMING FUCK

Lev _(2.57 PM):_ THEY’RE COMING TO GET ME KENMA

Kenma _(2.57 PM):_ 5 mins is over

Lev _(2.58 PM):_ NAME GOSHIKI TSUTOMU MUSHROOMHAIR W/BANGS 1STYR NO.8 HGT181 WGT70 BADop[[p;

Kenma _(2.58 PM):_ sor cant talk g2g

Lev _(2.58 PM):_ TEMPERED SHOWOFF WANNABETHE NEXT ACE NOT VERY GOOdubgudbjfksdnfjn

Lev _(2.58 PM):_ bbweD U fkn;kmt!!!#@$T?$ M B

_Kozume Kenma has gone offline._

_Lev _(3.00 PM):__ DONTLEAVEME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra: SHIRATORIZAWA
> 
> "Goshiki. Stop scaring the transfer into hiding."
> 
> "I am not scaring the transfer into hiding!"
> 
> "Why is he in the supply closet, then?"
> 
> "What the fuck is a supply closet?!"


	4. D-Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The swap hits its climax - and a few players hit their rock bottom.
> 
> \---
> 
> “Are you being punny right now? Because that’s some great levels of sarcasm that I’m hearing in your voice, maybe you should stop hanging out with Tsukki so much. But onto a serious note-“
> 
> _“I am being serious, you dick. All I have to do is say the right words to Noya and he’ll fucking turn on his ballistic mode, do you understand?”_
> 
>  
> 
> \---  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all of you reading A03 instead of spending time on your valentine/or not. I love you too.

_Letter to Oikawa-san_

Oikawa-san, I hope this letter finds you in good hands. My name is Akaashi Keiji, and I'm Bokuto Koutarou's setter from Fukurodani. I hope you don’t find it preposterous of me to address you a letter such as this even though we’ve never met before. I assure you that I write this with nothing but utmost sincerity. Bokuto-san is a great ace, but his personality can sometimes be... difficult.

I’m just going to come right out and say it: Bokuto-san is a tempermental person, especially on the court. He’s prone to having bouts of unpredictable mood swings that were extremely tricky for me to handle when I’d first joined Fukurodani last year. But over time, I’ve come up with a tried-and-tested method of dealing with Bokuto-san when he’s being problematic, and it is to:

Ignore him.

Just ignore him. There’s no need to do anything else. I strongly suspect that part of his reasons for going into what we call his “Emo Mode” is because he wants our attention. The logic goes then that if you ignore him for a bit and continue playing on as normal, he would be stunned out of his depression, and then return to the game with his tail in between his legs. Definitely do not get upset at him for it, or appear in anyways to panic over his behavior (though it’s completely understandable for you to feel worried internally). That will only serve to increase his ego and take a longer time for him to come around.

Sincerely,

_Akaashi Keiji._

* * *

 

_New message from Kozume Kenma!_

Kenma _(1.23 PM):_ shoyou u there

Hinata _(1.25 PM):_ yes sir!!

Kenma _(1.25 PM):_ alright

Kenma _(1.25 PM):_ I made it to the train, its leaving soon

Kenma _(1.26 PM):_ I’ll reach in an hour plus

Hinata _(1.27 PM):_ n I’ll see u at the station

Hinata _(1.27 PM):_ gd luck im praying for u

* * *

 

“Hanamaki,” Oikawa called tersely, not looking up as he squatted over and poked through the contents of the trash bin on the floor. “Stop judging me and help.”

Running footsteps were heard as Matsukawa ran into the clubroom, breathless. “I got it – there’s a letter for you from the General Office, without postage.” Oikawa whipped around and snatched the letter from him.

“Well? What does it say? Hey!”

“That’s the wrong fucking letter,” Oikawa snapped, tearing the paper up after scanning through it in a single second. Matsukawa stared at him bug-eyed and open-mouthed. Oikawa pulled out his own phone and went to his contacts:  _Mr._ _Refreshing-kun._ He pressed call.

“But-“

“Hey Oikawa, I’ve got Iwaizumi on the phone, do you wanna talk to him?” Hanamaki sounded strained as he offered phone. Oikawa nodded but didn't take it.

“Yeah. Just one small thing. Iwaizumi-kun? Stay the fuck away from Sugawara, you hear? He’s a fucking whore," he spoke loudly into Hanamaki's phone. And to his own phone he growled "And _you,_ stay the fuck away from Iwaizumi, you fucking _whore.”_ He ended the call and threw the phone at Hanamaki.

“OW! Oikawa!!”

“You know what, forget the letter. Just help me Facebook for Fukurodani’s setter and get me his phone number, whoever the _fucking_ hell that guy is.”

* * *

 

“What the fuck,” Iwaizumi hissed, a sinking feeling in his gut after hearing Oikawa for himself over the phone. He didn’t even manage to get a line in. And Iwaizumi _-kun?_ “Hanamaki, explain,” he barked.

_“... He’s become one with the trash.”_

“What the fuck was he on about?!” He snapped, tactful enough not to say Sugawara’s name out loud. Seriously, what the hell?

 _“Yeah he’s on to something – he’s onto_ you _. Judging by his face, it looks like someone’s been cheating around with Sugar and the rest of the crows behind all of our backs, hasn’t he?”_

“You know what, give the phone to Matsukawa, fucking let me talk to Matsukawa instead.” Hanamaki biggest flaw was how he always broke down into memes at the most critical of moments.

_“He can’t, he’s got his hands full of trash. All the trash, including the bins in the gym, and club room, and office, and showers – Caps' poured them all out, and he’s sorting through it right now, with his bare hands, and Mattsun’s like, standing there tryna’ help.”_

“For fuck’s sake stop him,” Iwaizumi despaired, covering his eyes with his other hand.

* * *

 

Daichi felt surreal as he watched first Iwaizumi, then Suga pick up their phones and immediately take on serious frowns on their faces. Suga’s mouth was pressed into a thin line and Iwaizumi was had his eyes covered behind his entire palm… Strike that. Daichi wasn’t feeling surreal. He was feeling foreboding _._

Sure enough, his own phone rang a mere heartbeat as soon as he had thought. He picked it up and:

“Hel-“

_“DAICHI OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO SAVE ME PLEASE TORA-KUN KEEPS CHASING AFTER ME AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID-”_

Daichi winced. “Okay, Asahi, you know what? Calm down first-“

_“I DON’T KNOW WHAT I DID I DON’T KNOW WHAT I SAID I DON’T KNOW WHAT I DID WRONG PLEASE OH MY GOD-“_

“Asahi? Are you listening to me?”

“ _DO YOU THINK HE CAN CLIMB TREES I’M GOING TO CLIMB UP A TREE NOW PLEASE DAICHI SAVE ME-“_

Daichi hung up.

* * *

 

“Kuroo,” Coach Nekomata called. “It’s been four days, how’s Haiba-kun doing at Shiratorizawa?”

“Yes Coach. Give me a moment to gather his last correspondence with our members, and I’ll get back to you in a while.”

* * *

 

_AtTenTION We HAVFE UR 1STYr HAiBA LEV n We WilL KEEL him If U Want HiM BaCk In 1 PIEce than U MUST SSEND us FIVE MILLION YEN by THURSDAY 2359. _

 

“The handwriting is fucking disgusting,” Shirabu said, appalled.

“Oh shut up, like you know shit about writing blackmail letters.” Goshiki jumped and snapped back. Damn it, he really couldn't get used to the way Shirabu snuck up onto people fast enough.

“And you do? Wow, real surprised. Do you even know what’s their school address and where to put it? And at the very least you should include some photos of the Russian idiot standing in our supply closet to make it even more convincing – oh wait, I forgot. You don’t know what a supply closet is.”

“I said shut _up_ , Shirabu!”

“You know, Shirabu does have a point,” boomed a voice from behind them. Goshiki jumped again, as did Shirabu.  _Damn_ his team members and the way they snuck up on people! 

“Senpais,” Shirabu greeted, suddenly meek and docile. One look at that face was enough to let Goshiki know that Shirabu would jump at the first opportunity to sell him out to their seniors. He scowled at Shirabu and turned to his seniors. “Tendou-senpai, Semi-senpai.” The looks of interest written across both their faces was making him anxoius. If they busted him Goshiki was so dead. God knows that Coach Washijou has a negative sense of humor.

“It _will_ be more convincing if you sent them photos of the punk stuffed up in our supply closet, ya know?” The other three stared at Tendou. He held up his phone and showed them a picture of Haiba Lev standing terrified beside a broom in a small, wooden space. 

“So it was you who put him in there!” Semi declared. Goshiki nodded vigorously – finally, the true culprit behind the stupid closet incident that everyone had been falsely accusing him about! And was that the supply closet? Like a 2m tall wooden box? 

“Ah ah ahh!” Tendou sang, waving a finger in Semi’s face. The setter slapped it away irritably. “I didn’t _put_ him in there. I merely suggested that he went in there himself after the coach told him to get out of his sight for _eternity_.”

“He really said that?” Shirabu asked.

Tendou sighed with mock sympathy. “On the first day, too.”

“Actually his words were: ‘ _Disappear. Shiratorizawa doesn’t need another Goshiki_.”

Shirabu snorted. Goshiki tried to defend himself, but Semi beat him to it and redirected the conversation. “Goshiki, your blackmail story needs spicing up. This isn’t convincing at all.”

“It's elementary,” Shirabu added.

“Yeah. _Yeahhhh._ What you need, kid, is Hollywood action movie _whodunit_ -style plotline. Like rape, torture, _murder._ God, kid, you really don’t know much of these kind of stuff, do ya? Creativity! That’s what you need!”

Semi was nodding along to Tendou’s words. "And your handwriting needs serious work. I mean, I guess this looks like a toddler's writing, and it does have somewhat of a psychopath's air to it, but what you really need here is newspaper cut-outs. That would really show that you mean business." 

"And my pictures. We have to make it look legit! Blurry angle, bad lighting, and maybe we should put him into gags and binds! The supply closet has shit like that, right?" 

Goshiki felt his mind slow to a halt. Was this going to get him into more trouble? Another look at Shirabu's face and that miniature smile he was wearing told him that yes, this was going to get him into more trouble.

“Wait. Senpais! I think... Wait!! Don't go yet! Hold on a sec…”

* * *

_  
_

_N_ ew _message from Hinata Shouyou!_

Hinata _(2.27 PM):_ but holy how did u do it I thought they put u in house arrest aft ytd

Kenma _(2.27 PM):_ thank christ for asahi-san

Hinata _(2.28 PM):_ !!! thank CHRIST!?!!

Kenma _(2.30 PM):_ he created a distraction and gave me the chance to run away

Kenma _(2.30 PM):_ really surprised I didn't know he had that in him

Hinata _(2.30 PM):_ what did he do?? TELL ME!!

* * *

 

“Yooo, Sawamura,” Kuroo purred. “My favorite Miyagi captain, man, how’re you doing?”

_“Call your tiger off Asahi or I’ll send Noya over to fry all of your asses.”_

“Are you being punny right now? Because that’s some great levels of sarcasm that I’m hearing in your voice, maybe you should stop hanging out with Tsukki so much. But onto a serious note-“

_“I am being serious, you dick. All I have to do is say the right words to Noya and he’ll fucking turn on his ballistic mode, do you understand?”_

“Do you guys have any experience with handling blackmail? I mean, I’m just _assuming_ that you guys are familiar with this sort of stuff since their captain is so good at spontaneous verbal blackmail over the phone, and all, but see we- ”

Daichi hung up.

* * *

 

_New message from Sawamura Daichi!_

Daichi _(2.03 PM):_ Suga who did you send that letter to? Not Nekoma, right?

Suga _(2.04 PM):_ Of course not I sent it to Oikawa Tooru. He received it for sure.

Daichi _(2.04 PM):_ oooohkay

Daichi _(2.07 PM):_ You srsly sent that letter to Oikawa?

Suga _(2.08 PM):_ How long have you known me for, Daichi?

Daichi _(2.09 PM): …_ Right.

Suga _(2.09 PM):_ um, so, who’s that Hinata texting so frantically on his phone, lol

* * *

 

_Letter to Oikawa-san_

Let’s not beat around the bush. We want Iwaizumi Hajime and you know it. How much will it take for you to let go of him? I'm not talking about money here. I understand your types. You know I can give to you actual, solid verification of your superb, best-in-Japan setting abilities - I know you have a particular thing with Kageyama. How would you like him? Maybe get him to prostrate himself, or to wait on you, or to entertain you? We're not beneath bribes, as you may be able to tell. 

On the other hand, maybe I’m underestimating the depths of your friendship with Hajime-kun. From what he’s told us, you guys have been best friends since childhood, spending almost a decade together now. Don’t you think it’s about time for you to let him go and build a whole new lifestyle for himself, with all the peace that he so greatly deserves – one without you taking up the centre stage all the time? I’m sure a man with as much perceptiveness as you understands that you can be quite the diva to deal with. I'll say that a good proper rest is long overdue for Hajime-kun. 

And if that isn’t enough to shake you, then consider it from this perspective – Hajime-kun’s happiness. I know you probably won’t believe me when I say that he’s been having the time of his life here with us, so I’ve put some photos in this letter for your viewing. Tomorrow we'll put a video on our club's Facebook page, too. I assure you that his presence at Karasuno is as good for his own mental health as it is for ours, especially Kageyama’s.

Won’t you let Hajime-kun be happy?

Sincerely,

_Sugawara Koushi_

* * *

 

_New message from unknown number._

Unknown _(2.17 PM):_ hey r u fukurodani’s setter

Sarukui _(2.18 PM):_ um, no. I’m just a regular member

Unknown _(2.19 PM):_ can u get ur setter over to this phone please its an emergency

Sarukui _(2.19 PM):_ okay I… think I know what you’re talking about. But he’s kind of busy rn…

Unknown _(2.19 PM):_ ur ace just imploded from self-induced internal emo overload how could this be less important than whatever ur setters doing now

Sarukui _(2.20 PM):_ shit, you’re right, sorry.

Sarukui _(2.20 PM):_ he’s talking with Ushijima atm but this is more important. I’ll just put you on speaker and pass my phone to him. Hang on

Unknown _(2.20 PM):_ Wait. What?

Unknown _(2.20 PM):_ WAIT?!

* * *

 

Alright, so maybe it took them quite a while, but at long last, Hanamaki, Matsuakawa and the rest of the team took enough pity on Oikawa to collectively brainstorm for ways to solve the Great Emo Problem - Bokuto Koutarou. The way Iwaizumi sounded like a pained mother over the phone also played another factor in their sudden bout of initiative, though of course, no one was about to/had the guts to stop Oikawa in his… Pursuit for the truth in the rubbish. They could, however, help from the sidelines, which was _exactly_ what they were all doing now. Furthermore, the bet was closed, and the money was to be split evenly between Matsukawa and Yahaba, so they’ve pretty much ran out of excuses to not get some real shit done-

_“Makkieeee mattsuuuun!!!”_

Hanamaki jumped like a startled cat when he heard Oikawa scream for him. The others looked similarly alarmed at the way Oikawa’s voice raised in pitch and volume towards the end. Matsukawa threw down a “Fuck, not again!” and sprinted, Hanamaki right behind him.

“What, Oikawa?!”

In the clubroom, sitting with heaps of trash by his feet, Oikawa was holding his phone as far away from him as possible. “I got Ushiwaka on the phone,” he mouthed, looking terrified.

Matsukawa elbowed Hanamaki forward without meeting his eye. “What happened to contacting Fukurodani’s setter?” he hissed at thrm, reluctantly taking it. Oikawa just covered his face – fuck, he looked as bad as Iwaizumi sounded earlier. “… Hello? Uh, I’m looking for Fukurodani’s setter. Is this the right number?”

_“Ah, yes. This is Akaashi Keiji. Who’s speaking?”_

Hanamaki heaved a sigh of relief, and rolled his eyes at Oikawa. Dammit, his heart rate had really gone up there.

“This is, uh… Aoba Johsai speaking. Your ace just… Threw a mental fit, so help?”

_“Oh. Oh, uh. Okay, I see. I’m so sorry about that, I’ll call him right now and sort things out. I’m really sorry for the inconvenience caused…”_

“Oh great, thanks man, that’ll be really helpful.“ The other two sighed in relief.

 _“Aoba Johsai?”_ A new baritone voice cut in, and Hanamaki’s shoulders immediately shot up to his ears. _“Is Oikawa there?”_

Oikawa was shaking. There was a distance of about five meters between the two of them, and even from here he could clearly make out Oikawa's dilated pupils in his humongous, twitching brown eyes. His body was trembling in palpable fear.  _Please don't cry on us -_ Hanamaki prayed to the gods in his head. Iwaizumi would flay them _all_ alive for that. “No,” he replied to the phone, forcing conviction into his voice. “No. He’s sick… At home.”

_“Sick?”_

“Yup, it’s pretty bad. Withdrawal, you know. Nasty shit.”

* * *

 

_Letter to Sugawara Koushi_

Take your perceptiveness and shove it up your ass as far as possible. Fuck you, we’re married. Evidence is everywhere. His phone’s passcode is my birthday. There’s a picture of us in his wallet. He has a tattoo of the number “1” in the middle of his back – Guess who? There’s also a condom in there – that’s right, it’s for me too. _Because_ of me. _With_ me.

You know what? Our parents know. Tobio-chan, too. Don’t believe me? Fucking ask him.

And stop calling him Hajime-kun. Fuck off.

_Oikawa_

* * *

 

Quietly, Akaashi exited from the gymnasium and worried his fingers as he fell deep into thought, barely registering that Ushijima was still talking with Aoba Johsai over Sarukui’s phone. He was considering the limited options he had regarding how to remotely solve the issue of Bokuto. Obviously, given that desperate phone call, he should be delivering the promise he just hastily made and call up Bokuto right now. The whole team would approve, as would the coaches, and for so many reasons - one of which would be to collect Bokuto’s opinion on the ace swap so that he could start that Activity Review Report that Akaashi knows he would end up doing. 

But still, Akaashi hesitated. Those kind of thoughts were typical – and Akaashi shuddered to use this word, but – _conditioned,_ even, for him, and by extension Fukurodani, to have. But yesterday’s conversation with Ushijima and rest of the team had prompted Akaashi to do a serious reflection over himself, his role as Fukurodani’s vice-captain, and his overall self-worth. After losing an entire night’s sleep over it, he’d reached a somber conclusion: Shiratorizawa’s setters (presumably) were as dedicated to Ushijima as Akaashi (unfortunately) is to Bokuto, and he had precisely zero right to think of those setters in mocking or condescending light.

At four in the morning, Akaashi felt a bone-deep weariness when he realized the truth of it hit him in the face: he spoiled Bokuto in the club, in the court, in life… Heck, he even called himself "Bokuto Koutarou's setter" in that overly meticulous letter. What had he been thinking? It was almost as though Bokuto was his OCD. Aoba Johsai’s captain must have been spooked by how obsessive Akaashi had seemed. Or worse, _possessive_.

Something had to change. Akaashi had to stop, and he definitely shouldn’t, and wasn't going to call Bokuto.

* * *

 

_New message from Haiba Lev!_

Lev _(2.56 PM):_ YAMAMOTO-SENPAI

Yamamoto _(2.56 PM):_ NO TIME KID WE HAVE A SITUATION

Lev _(2.56 PM):_ NO NO DON’T BLOCK ME TOO WAIT!!!

Lev (2.56 PM): I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY

Yamamoto _(2.56 PM):_ YEAH WELL ME TOO

Yamamoto _(2.56 PM):_ THAT FUCKING ASSHI FROM KARASUNO GOD HE’S MORE TROUBLE THAN WORTH IM TELLING YOU

Yamamoto _(2.56 PM):_ HE FUCKING FREED KENMA FROM THE SUPPLY CLOSET AFTER WE LOCKED HIM IN THERE DURING LUNCH

Lev _(2.56 PM):_ Um, why the supply closet?????????????

* * *

_  
_

_New message from Hinata Shouyou!_

Hinata _(2.56 PM):_ woah were u not pissed that they did that??!!

Kenma _(2.56 PM):_ well, i mean, I can game anywhere. And besides asahi-san was nearby and he heard the sounds that came from my console

Hinata _(2.57 PM):_ oh. What game was it?

Kenma _(2.57 PM):_ silent hill

* * *

 

Yamamoto _(2.57 PM):_ That punk tried to FLEE to KARASUNO ytd after Kuro tried to make him buddy/train/help Asshi

Yamamoto _(2.57 PM):_ Obv today we had to ensure that he wasn't gonna take off again, so Kai-san came up with this brilliant idea to put him in the clubroom supply closet during lunch, which was only two hours before practice started anwyays

Yamamoto _(2.58 PM):_ And ofc we poked him some holes to ensure ventitlation. And it wasn’t like he would actually be mad at being stuck in there WITH HIS his consoles AND laptop

Yamamoto _(2.58 PM):_ BUT THEn THE GOOD FOR NOTHING FREED HIM imam fucking tear him apart when he comes down from that tree!!!

Yamamoto _(2.58 PM):_ Yaku thinks Kenma’s on the train alrady!!

Lev _(2.58 PM):_ Is he coming to Shiratorizawa???

Yamamoto _(2.59 PM):_ wth duh?!!

Lev _(2.59 PM):_ TO GET ME?!!! R U SERIOUS?

Yamamoto _(2.59 PM):_ he’s fucking going to Karasuno did u not read wht I sent

Yamamoto _(3.00 PM):_ and what were u going to say just now

Lev _(3.00 PM):_ …

Lev _(3.00 PM):_ Just… Nevermind… …

* * *

 

_Two new messages received from Haiba Lev._

Lev _(3.01 PM):_  HEY KENMA WILL U PLEASE CONSIDER FLEEING TO SHIRATORIZAWA INSTEAD

Lev _(3.01 PM):_  YOU CAN PICK ME UP TOO SINCE ITS CLOSER TO TOKYO THAN KARASUNO IS ANYWAYS

Kenma _(3.02 PM):_ no.

Lev _(3.02 PM):_ WAIT THE GUYS AT SHIRATORIZAWA ARE PLOTTING OSMETHING THEY JUST MAILED A LETTER TO U GUYS I DUNNO WHAT IT’S ABOUT BUT

_Would you like to mute this chat for 8 months, 1 week or 1 year?_

_You have chosen to mute the chat with Haiba Lev for 1 week!_

* * *

 

Bokuto was feeling completely down in the dumps as he sat by himself on a bench outside the gym. He had lost his cool with Aoba Johsai in the middle of their first practice match of the day (despite how nice and chill the others had been to him up till now), and he was at a complete loss as to what he should do next.

He supposed Oikawa wasn’t expecting to see him flip his shit like this, but to be fair Bokuto, wasn’t expecting anything in return from Oikawa either. After all, Oikawa was less like Akaashi and more similar to Bokuto himself than he’d, well, initially expected.

Though, while Bokuto had been called any number of times a “being on the fourth dimensional plane, with a sense of logic far removed from ours” by his teammates and closest friends, even he could tell that the way Oikawa had reacted to his outburst was pretty damn weird. Yes, the initial stunned gaping had been a standard reaction. But then why did he run to the clubroom instead of after Bokuto? And then stayed inside there for one whole hour? What could he possibly hope to achieve by not immediately coaxing Bokuto back into the gym with bribes, and the like? 

And another thing that had Bokuto totally confused was how his phone still wasn’t ringing with a call from Fukurodani. He knew Akaashi gave him a letter to pass to Oikawa (though he doesn't remember how he gave it to him); he could guess that the letter’s contents were probably some kind of warning about his mood swings, and he was almost certain that Akaashi would have given his number. Which, obviously, Oikawa would call in a time like this, and in turn, Akaashi _should_ then reach out to Bokuto to talk him out of his self-induced depression… Right?

Why wasn’t he calling?

* * *

 

Ushijima was feeling confused and a little bit awkward as he spoke into the mobile phone of Fukurodani’s number 3. He disliked speaker modes, but he thought that it would be rude of him to switch back to call mode and put the phone to his ear – maybe number 3 was cautious about hygiene. Ushijima could understand that.

But what he couldn’t understand was the person, or persons, speaking on the phone to him at the moment. He was pretty sure he heard Oikawa’s voice in the beginning, when he’d shrieked out a funny “ _tsun_ ” syllable that Ushijima didn’t get. The voice was distinctive, however, and Ushijima was certain that he’d gotten its owner right.

 _"Withdrawal_ , _you know. Nasty shit.”_

He doesn't know who’s speaking now, but he really, really, just wanted to talk to Oikawa. It was important.

“No, I’m afraid I don’t know. Anyhow, I hope he quickly gets better soon, because I’ll like to ask him about arranging another ace swap between my school and Aoba Johsai. Could you give me his number? I only have his Facebook at the moment.”

 _“Uh, one sec.”_ Some scuffling sounds and indecipherable whispering was heard. Then, abruptly, a higher-pitched voice shouted _“NEVER!!”_ from the other end and hung up. Ushijima stared wordlessly at the phone. Number 3 made to gently take it back from him, but Ushijima's fingers clenched around it. He suddenly had a eureka moment. 

 _I can call him back,_ Ushijima realized. His number was right there on Number-3-kun’s phone, after all. Truly, what an excellent stroke of luck for him.

* * *

 

It was only the two of them – him and Kuroo - as the others were out and about, split into two hunting teams for Kenma and Asahi respectively. Yaku’s right leg shook restlessly as he alternated between growling and gnashing his teeth together. His eyes were firmly shut because he’d ran out of the patience to watch Kuroo gather information from his numerous sources about Lev’s status. And if the conniving bastard didn’t have a proper answer for him within the next five seconds…

“… Yaku. _Mori_.” The ass finally spoke.

“Get the fuck on with it.” Yaku braced himself.

“It seems like… Shiratorizawa’s _gang-raped_ Lev-kun in their supply closet and are gonna _kill him_ fresh and early tomorrow morning unless we deliver five million to them by _midnight tonight_.”

Yaku let out a long suffering sigh and slapped both his palms into his face. It hurt, but Kuroo's stupidity hurt more. “No, they didn’t.”

“That’s what it says _right here_.” Kuroo said stubbornly, still with the dumb emphasis left and right. He pushed the so-called ‘blackmail letter’ from Shiratorizawa, written in a colorful mix of bad handwriting and newspaper cut outs (who does that still?) to Yaku. 

“Nobody. Wants to rape Lev,” he pointed out. He’d read the visual nightmare of a letter enough times to make his eyes bleed, and he really didn't need to know how the fuck Kuroo managed to interpret ‘gang-rape’ from it.

“The implicit message is _obvious_ from the efforts they went to just to piece cut out all these letters from newspapers, and you have to look collectively at _all_ the evidence’s we’ve amassed-“

“Did Karasuno say anything helpful?” He interrupted. He did, however, felt that Kuroo's brain filter would have dumbed down whatever useful thing Sawamura had said over the phone, and he was of half a mind to call them up himself to ask. His hand goes to his phone. 

“They have their own issues,” said Kuroo in his sagely voice. He was doing this all on purpose – speaking crap, being difficult - Yaku decided to ignore him. He wasn't doing his blood pressure any favors if he continued like this. Pressing Sugawara’s contact did a little to soothe his irritated heart, and feeling marginally nicer, he explained to Kuroo all over again: “Look, Kuro, we can’t just take these elementary evidences at face value - they're clearly staged! Look at these fucking pictures, they're dumb! Our only purpose here is to see past their bullshit and find out if and how Lev offended them, okay? Everything else is secondary.”

“That’s what I’ve done! Lev’s clearly offended them – I don’t know how, not yet – and they’ve retaliated by taking turns with his cold, lifeless body, after they beat the hell out of him in their closet- ARGH!! Ow, STOP!”

Having had _enough of his shit_ , Yaku had pounced over the table and grabbed Kuroo in an upper-torso lock with his four limbs. “Stop fucking around!!” He pinched Kuroo’s ears. “Where is LEV?!!”

“Gang rape!!” Kuroo yelled back. “That’s what I’ve been saying- _OW_!-“ Yaku punched the motherfucker in his temple. He was enjoying Lev's misfortune way too much.

“Gang rape?” Came an elderly from the door. Yaku headbutted Kuroo one last time before rolling off of him; the two of them turned to see Coach Nekomata frowning at them. “Lev?”

Stony silence fell, and a wave of _oh fuck_ washed over Yaku’s body. Kicking Kuroo’s leg, he stuttered: “Um, no, uh-“ but Coach turned and left. He gaped at Kuroo, the dickbag, whose only response was to throw up his hands in a "not my business" pose.

"Coach, wait _, please_ let me explain!"  

* * *

 

_New message in the chatroom with four others._

Nekomata _(3.30 PM):_ Shiratorizawa. What is this I hear about torture, necrophillia and gang-rape towards my first year student Haiba Lev over there?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi didn't give any of his contacts to Oikawa at all.
> 
> Kuroo's also having the time of his life.
> 
> Daichi's not actually going to do anything about it.
> 
> Oikawa is losing.
> 
> And Tendou did it.  
> 


	5. Last Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last words, beautiful memories, don't look back, never again.
> 
> \---
> 
> Matsukawa (3.14 PM): god knows what oikawa’s doing inside
> 
> Iwaizumi (3.14 PM): I’ll be back in less than fifteen mins
> 
> Matsukawa (3.14 PM): I only know that he’s not masturbating
> 
> Iwaizumi (3.15 PM): im saying please
> 
> \---  
> 

_You have one new message from Nekoma’s Coach!_

Nekoma’s Coach _(1.15 PM):_ So what did your team do to Haiba Lev? He’s coming back in a few hours time and I want a rundown of his situation before I see him.

 

_You have two new messages from Tendou Satori!_

Tendou _(1.17 PM):_ So just a few gentle reminders and kind parting words from your loving Shiratorizawa senpais before you return to your cat-cave, little tall comrade

Tendou _(1.17 PM):_ Respond with a “yes senpai” or a “yes sir” to indicate that you’ve read and understood my following messages, comprendo?

Lev _(1.17 PM):_ yes sir yes

Tendou _(1.17 PM):_ You do not talk about the blackmail letter that we sent to Nekoma, such as who wrote it and why

Lev _(1.18 PM):_ yes sir

Tendou _(1.18 PM):_ You do not talk about the supply closet in the clubroom, or the number of hours that you’ve spent in it, or who put you into it

Lev _(1.18 PM):_ yes

Tendou _(1.18 PM):_ But you may talk about us as long as it is within those conditions. Simple? I only gave you four rules to follow. If you don't... 

Lev _(1.18 PM):_ yes completely understood

Tendou  _(1.19 PM):_ i'll let you think on that for yourself. Never make the mistake of underestimating us. 

Tendou _(1.19 PM):_  As for Goshiki, you can slam him as much as you want, that's completely fine

Lev _(1.19 PM):_ uh, okay

Tendou _(1.19PM):_  what do you say?

Lev _(1.20 PM):_ yes sir

* * *

 

 **SHIRATORIZAWA Boys’ Volleyball Official** added two new photos to the album “Ace Exchange Program with Metropolitian Nekoma High” at Shiratorizawa Outdoor Stadium with _Tendou Satori_ _and 15 others_ _(1.22 PM)_. “At Shiratorizawa’s Volleyball Club, we only recruit the cream of the crop high school students that excel both athletically and academically. We invest heavily in our students’ developments, and this is one example of the kind of outreach programs we would send them on in order to… _ (read more)”_

_Ushijima Wakatoshi, Shirabu Kenjirou, Ohira Reon and 543 others like this._

 

 **Hanamaki Takahiro** uploaded a photo: _He has become one with the trash (meme)_ at Aoba Johsai High School with _Oikawa Tooru. (1.25 PM)_

_Kunimi Akra, Kyoutani Kentarou, Shigeru Yahaba and 24 others like this._

**Kndaichi Yuutarou** lol this one’s the best senpai _(1.30 PM) 10 likes._

 

 **Kageyama Tobio** changed his profile picture to “ _My Senpai”_ with _Iwaizumi Hajime_ at  Karasuno High School _(2.01 PM)_

_Iwaizumi Hajime, Sawamura Daichi, Hinata Shouyou and 33 others like this._

**Hinata Shouyou** omg I was also gonna make my photo with Iwaizumi-san into my DP!!! _(2.02 PM)_

 **Tsukishima Kei** nerd _. (2.05 PM)_ _1 like._

**Haiba Lev** Finally this long week is over _(2.55 PM)_

_Shirabu Kenjiro, Hinata Shouyou, Nobuyuki Kai and 11 others like this._

            **Shirabu Kenjiro** Finally. _(2.59 PM) 25 likes._

 

* * *

 

 **Karasuno High Men’s Volleyball** uploaded a video to the album: “Ace Exchange Program with Aoba Johsai High” with _Iwaizumi Hajime and 14 others (1.43 PM)._ “ ‘This has been a great learning experience’, says Iwaizumi, the exchange player from Aoba Johsai. ‘Working with a different team was challenging, but a hell lot of fun.’ _ (read more)”_

_Takeda Ittetsu, Hinata Shouyou, Hitoka Yachi and 98 others like this._

 

 **Iwaizumi Hajime** uploaded a photo: _Pork buns with the crows! Last day_ at Sakanoshita Store with _Kageyama Tobio_ _and 9 others_. _(2.01 PM)_

_Sawamura Daichi, Kageyama Tobio, Sugawara Koushi and 49 others like this._

**Kageyama Tobio** Srsly so grateful that you came to Karasuno for this past week, Iwaizumi-senpai _(2.04 PM) 18 likes._

 **Hinata Shouyou** When I grow up im gonna become an ace just like you! _(2.04 PM)_ _9 likes_.

                        **Bokuto Koutarou** ??!!!!?! _(2.06 PM)_

 **Sawamura Daichi** You really won’t consider staying here with us forever? _(2.10 PM)_ _11 likes._

            **Sugawara Koushi** Yeah, Hajime-kun. _(2.10 PM)_

 **Tsukishima Kei** Tone it down already, senpais, it’s been a week _(2.12 PM) 1 like._

            **Shimizu Kiyoko** Your presence will be missed. _(2.14 PM) 40 likes._

 **Tanaka Ryuu** @Nishinoya Yuu @Yamamoto Taketora !!!???!! fml _(2.17 PM)_

**Hanamaki Takahiro** uploaded a photo: _When you say “Iwaizumi-kun” instead of “Iwa-chan” (meme)_ at Aoba Johsai High School with _Oikawa Tooru. (2.22 PM)_

_Kunimi Akira, Watari Shinji, Shigeru Yahaba and 50 others like this._

**Watari Shinji**  no way he didn't!! _(2.23 PM)_

 **Kindaichi Yuutarou** !!! _(2.25 PM)_

* * *

 

_You have three new messages from Bo!_

Bokuto  _(2.25 PM)_ _:_ bro but

Bokuto  _(2.25 PM)_ _:_ Akaashi didn’t call me, you know?

Bokuto  _(2.25 PM)_ _:_ I didn’t get a single msg from him at all in the past week

Bokuto  _(2.25 PM)_ _:_ this is srsly a big deal

Kuroo _(2.26 PM):_ maybe he’s busy

Bokuto _(2.26 PM):_ that’s not even a valid reason

Bokuto _(2.26 PM):_ You need to understand that for Akaashi, my wellbeing is the number one most important thing

Kuroo _(2.28 PM):_ woah dude

 

_You have new messages in the chatroom with 2 others (Hanamaki T., Iwaizumi H.)_

Iwaizumi _(2.27 PM):_ what the hell is asskawa doing?? His social media presence is still zero since practically two days ago, he’s not reading my messages or picking up my calls, and im this close to calling the coaches just to reach him

Matsukawa _(2.27 PM):_ I cant believe the two of you are leaving the entire responsibility of oikawa to me

Hanamaki _(2.27 PM):_ don't you feel that calling him ‘asskawa’ at this point in time given his current pitiful circumstance is just a little bit tactless and inappropriate?  

Iwaizumi _(2.28 PM):_ … jesus, it was my autocorrect

Iwaizumi _(2.28 PM):_ ? and what, matsukawa

Matsukawa _(2.29 PM):_ im never blowing you in the clubroom ever again

Iwaizumi _(2.29 PM):_ what the HELL???

 

_You have three new messages from Bo!_

Bokuto _(2.32 PM):_ I meant that in the least arrogant way possible

Bokuto _(2.32 PM):_ it’s because he’s vice captain and the team needs me because i AM the MOTHER of all aces, ya know?!!

Bokuto _(2.32 PM):_ sooo I always have to be in top condition. And that’s akaashi’s responsibility!

Bokuto _(2.32 PM):_ I wont go as far as to say that the team isn’t even a team when im not there, but that is pretty much the case!

Bokuto _(2.32 PM):_ and this is the opinion coming from one of the top five aces in this country, so I’ll say I’ve got a pretty good understanding of the situation!!

Bokuto _(2.33 PM):_ bro??? where u at?

Kuroo _(2.35 PM):_ sry bro I was busy

Kuroo _(2.35 PM):_ the team’s split on whether or not to throw Lev a welcome party or eat him alive and somebody’s gotta make a decision somehow

Bokuto _(2.35 PM):_ wow what kind of insane Nekoma ritual is that??

Bokuto _(2.35 PM):_ did you read my previous msgs???

* * *

 

 **Hanamaki Takahiro** uploaded a photo: _Kindly refrain from littering on school grounds (meme)_ with _Iwaizumi Hajime. (2.35 PM)_

_Matsukawa Issei, Kunimi Akira, Kyoutani Kentarou and 50 others like this._

**Iwaizumi Hajime** I am coming back right now you fuck will it kill you to have a little more patience?  _(2.35 PM) 23 likes._

**Kuroo Tetsurou > Ohira Reon **So can you tell me why this Goshiki fellow raped Lev? _(2.35 PM)_

_Kai Nobuyuki, Tendou Satori, Semi Eita and 57 others like this._

**Goshiki Tsutomu** OH MY GOD WHAT???? I DIDN’T!!!! _(2.36 PM)_

 **Haiba Lev** KUROO-SAN WHAT???? WHY???! _(2.37 PM)_

* * *

 

_You have three new messages from Yaku Morisuke!_

Yaku _(2.37 PM):_ Are you fucking shitting me

Yaku _(2.37 PM):_ You think you’re so funny

Yaku _(2.37 PM):_ This is not what I meant when I told you to sort things out

Kuroo _(2.38 PM):_ has anyone ever told you that the way you start conversations sounds like every cliché break up line in existence ever?

Yaku _(2.38 PM):_ don't make me block you too

 

_You have new messages from Bo!_

Bokuto _(2.37 PM):_ where was I

Bokuto _(2.37 PM):_ oh yeah so listen bro the point im trying to make here is that I was desperately lonely at Seijou, okay?

Bokuto _(2.37 PM):_ those guys were great and all but they just… weren’t enough

Bokuto _(2.37 PM):_ I always need reassurances bcos you know im a sensitive guy, right?

Kuroo _(2.38 PM):_ yeah bro 

* * *

 

 **Yaku Morisuke > Ohira Reon **sorry ignore my captain. How was it? Tell us the truth. _(2.38 PM)_

_Kuroo Tetsurou, Kai Nobuyuki, Tendou Satori and 38 others like this._

            **Tendou Satori** LOL. _(2.40 PM) 42 likes._

 **Azumane Asahi** Since the exchange is over can I honestly say that I felt like you guys did the equivalent of sending a baby lamb to a slaughterhouse with Lev-kun _(2.42 PM) 7 likes._

 **Kuroo Tetsurou** Honestly the same can be said for you guys @Sawamura Daichi _(2.45 PM) 31 likes._

                        **Sawamura Daichi** touché _(2.50 PM) 30 likes._

            **Eita Semi** Truthfully your captain got the right idea _(2.50 PM)_

 **Yaku Morisuke** Please stop trolling us this is a serious conversation _(2.50 PM)_

 **Shirabu Kenjirou** You sent us a substitute in place of your real ace for a WEEK and now you’re telling me you want us to stop trolling YOU? Funny, real funny. _(2.50 PM)_

* * *

 

_You have one new message from Nekoma’s Coach!_

Nekoma’s Coach (2.54 PM): Look Shiratorizawa. It’s just one simple question. What did you do to my kid? Coach to coach, it IS part of your duty and paycheck to answer my query. Hello?

 

_New messages received from unknown number._

Unknown _(2.56 PM):_ Alright so maybe asking you on your facebook wall was a bad idea. I’m really sorry that your Shirabu got so butthurt over it, I hope that didn’t cause you too much trouble.

Unknown _(2.56 PM):_ Would it be better for you to let me know thru text? I really, sincerely want to know what happened and how things went. Or maybe it’ll be better via email, if what you’re gonna say is long?

Unknown _(2.56 PM):_ This is Yaku Morisuke btw. Third year libero from Nekoma.

_You have added a new contact “Yaku Morisuke”!_

Ohira _(2.57 PM):_ you mean you’re not the vice captain?

Yaku _(2.56 PM):_ no, he’s busy with other issues

Ohira _(2.57 PM):_ Ah. I see.

Ohira _(2.57 PM):_ so I’ll take that email address.

 

_You have three new messages from Bo!_

Bokuto _(2.58 PM):_ and then, while I was being kind of depressed on my own and just wandering around their school aimlessly

Bokuto _(2.58 PM):_ I ended up in their sports clubroom. As in, the Seijou Boys VBC room

Bokuto _(2.58 PM):_ and Then YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I SAW

Kuroo _(2.58 PM):_ Who and who?!?!

Bokuto (2.59 PM): Huh? It wasn’t a ‘who’ question, it was a - wait for it…

_Bokuto sent an image “GUESS WHAT?? MILKBREAD STASH FOUND AND CONSUMED” (2.59 PM)_

Bokuto _(2.59 PM):_ And then I felt immediately better afterwards!!!

Kuroo _(3.00 PM):_  LOL, Bo. Yeah you would get cheered up over binge eating like that.

Bokuto _(3.00 PM):_ Thanks :DDDD!! I’m gonna upload that pic!! Wasn’t I lucky?!!

Kuroo _(3.00 PM):_  you should definitely do that

* * *

 

 **FUKURODANI ACADEMY Men’s Volleyball (Official)** uploaded an album: _Ace Exchange Week – Shiratorizawa (30 photos)_ with _Akaashi Keiji and 24 others (2.57 PM)._ “At Fukurodani Academy, we attract top high-school level volleyball talent from within the country. In exchange for sending out our ace, Bokuto Koutarou (national rank 4) to Aoba Johsai High School, we received Ushijima Wakatoshi (national rank 3), from… _ (read more)”_

_Ushijima Wakatoshi, Akaashi Keij, Tatsuki Washio and 345 others like this._

 

 **Bokuto Koutarou** uploaded a photo: _MILK BREAD STASH FOUND AND CONSUMED_ at Aoba Johsai High. _(3.01 PM)_

_Hanamaki Takahiro, Kunimi Akira, Matsukawa Issei and 32 others like this._

**Oikawa Tooru** mother of god  _(3.01 PM) 41 likes._

 **Iwaizumi Hajime** @Oikawa Tooru PICK UP YOUR PHONE (3.01 PM)

 

 **Kyoutani Kentarou > Iwaizumi Hajime** You owe us for one week of PMSkawa _(3.05 PM)_

_Watari Shinji, Matasukawa Issei, Kindaichi Yuutarou and 26 others like this._

**Iwaizumi Hajime** Get off his facebook and give him back his phone hanamaki _(3.05 PM) 1 like._

 **Kyoutani Kentarou** actually Iwaizumi-san, I agree with what he said _(3.05 PM)_

 **Matsukawa Issei** Oikawa has taken Hanamaki’s phone with him and locked himself in the gym’s female toilet. Nobody dares to go in, but everyone’s standing guard outside until you finally grace us with your return _(3.06 PM) 22 likes._

 **Iwaizumi Hajime** why must we have this conversation on Facebook instead of whatsapp  _(3.06 PM) 1 like._

 **Iwaizumi Hajime** I bet you guys were betting and made money off of it anyway. _(3.07 PM)_ _22 likes._

 **Shigeru Yahaba** Not all of us! _(3.10 PM)_

* * *

 

_New messages in the chatroom with 2 others (Hanamaki T., Matsukawa I.)_

Iwaizumi _(3.13 PM):_ could the two of you help out somehow with damage control for trashykawa

Matsukawa _(3.13 PM):_ bro we seriously are standing guard outside the toilet, you know?

Iwaizumi _(3.13 PM):_ *Oikawa

Matsukawa _(3.14 PM):_  god knows what oikawa’s doing inside

Iwaizumi _(3.14 PM):_ I’ll be back in less than fifteen mins

Matsukawa _(3.14 PM):_ I only know that he’s not masturbating

Iwaizumi _(3.15 PM):_  just please

 

_You have three new messages from Unknown_

Unknown _(3.15 PM):_ Thank you for writing me an easily misplaced, destroyed, unassuming flimsy piece of paper containing highly important information on the proper measures to deal with your volatile and irrational ace 

Unknown _(3.15 PM):_ Thank you for not giving me any of your contacts at all – Facebook, phone number, email – nada

Unknown _(3.15 PM):_ So basically thank you for nothing

Akaashi _(3.16 PM):_ I’m sorry… But who is this?

Unknown _(3.17 PM):_ A vengeful spirit born out of your lack of consideration for others’ wellbeing

Akaashi _(3.17 PM):_ … Oikawa-san?

 

_You have two new messages from Oikawa Tooru!_

Oikawa _(3.15 PM):_ stop haunting iwa-chan at every physical corner and on every facebook post

Oikawa _(3.15 PM):_ he’s been texting me saying that he thinks you’re fucking creepy and obsessive, Mr. Refreshing-kun

Sugawara _(3.15 PM):_ he’s been telling me that you’ve been avoiding his text messages, though? For the past two days already

Oikawa _(3.16 PM):_ stop hounding to see his tattoo and acting like you’ve never seen one before – how much of a virgin are you, exactly?

Sugawara _(3.16 PM):_ oh? I never “hounded” after him to see his tattoo – in fact I have never brought that subject up with him

Sugawara _(3.16 PM):_ could it be that Hajime-kun doesn’t even have a tattoo, and that you were just making things up to compensate for the despair you spiraled into in the past week that he was gone?

Oikawa _(3.17 PM):_ what did I say about ‘Hajime-kun’? Don’t use it, stop using it

Sugawara _(3.17 PM):_ i must say that i do think a "1" tattoo is extremely fitting for Hajime-kun. It corresponds with his name, life goal, ambitions... and even you.

Sugawara _(3.17 PM):_ That is, if you guys really are together

Oikawa _(3.17 PM): ..._????

Oikawa _(3.17 PM):_ wow bitch

* * *

 

 **Hanamaki Takahiro** **> Oikawa Tooru** I borrowed a kouhai’s phone just to be able to tell you this really important message: Hey, cheer up! At least it wasn’t your Iwaizumi stash! _(3.16 PM)_

_Matsukawa Issei, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Kindaichi Yuutarou and 25 others like this._

 

 **Akaashi Keiji > Oikawa Tooru **I sincerely apologize for all the inconveniences caused in the past week _(3.17 PM)_

_Sarukui Yamoto, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Kindaichi Yuutarou and 33 others like this._

**Akaashi Keiji** Oikawa-san, if there’s anything I can do to help, please don’t hesitate to let me know. _(3.17 PM)_

 

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi > Oikawa Tooru **Are you still down with withdrawal? I hope you get better soon. I have some things up my sleeves that I would like to discuss with you. _(3.18 PM)_

_Ushijima Wakatoshi, Matsukawa Issei, Kindaichi Yuutarou and 57 others like this._

            **Sugawara Koushi** Feel better soon! _(3.18 PM)_

**Metropolitan NEKOMA HIGH Boy’s Volleyball Club** uploaded three photos: _Ace Exchange with Karasuno’s Azumane-kun!_ with _Azumane Asahi and 20 others (3.19 PM). “_ Cheers! We’re serious about volleyball, and we’re serious about having fun! Good work, Azumane-kun, thanks for spending this past week with us!”

_Azumane Asahi, Tanaka Ryuu, Nishinoya Yuu and 209 others like this._

 

 **Azumane Asahi** I’m not very good with this kind of thing, but thank you all for what you did for me in the past week!  @Kuroo Tetsurou @Yaku Morisuke @Kai Nobuyuki @Kozume Kenma @Yamamoto Taketora @Inuoka Sou _(3.20 PM)_

_Kuroo Tetsurou, Yaku Morisuke, Nishinoya Yuu and 36 others like this._

            **Nishinoya Yuu** WELCOMEBACK ASAHI-san!!!! _(3.28 PM) 18 likes._

 

 **Sawamura Daichi > Kuroo Tetsurou** So I guess not even the great Kuroo could whip some masculinity into our ace, huh. _(3.24 PM)_

_Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei, Tanaka Ryuu and 30 others like this._

            **Kuroo Tetsurou** Your responsibility, not mine. _(3.27 PM) 18 likes._

            **Azumane Asahi** I can see this even if you don’t tag me in it you know!! _(3.30 PM)_

* * *

 

_You have one new message from Tsukishima Kei!_

Tsukishima _(3.32 PM):_ so you’re on your phone too, king? Juvenile.

Kageyama _(3.32 PM):_ wut do u want

Tsukishima _(3.32 PM):_ I just wanted to remind you of yesterday’s big secret from the train station with the Nekoma members – the one that we’re not supposed to tell? I thought you would appreciate the gesture, since you always have this look on your face like you’re constantly confused about everything

Kageyama _(3.33 PM):_ u’re so annoying

Tsukishima _(3.33 PM):_ but do you actually know what happened yesterday?

Kageyama _(3.33 PM):_ well we’re clearly NOT Supposed to talk about it so im NOT going to talk about it. You cant trick me.

Tsukishima _(3.34 PM):_ LOL you DON't! Ahahahahahha!

Kageyama _(3.34 PM):_ SHUT UP NEITHER DO U U WERENT EVEN THERE

Tsukishima _(3.34 PM):_ oh but I know. I have my sources

Kageyama _(3.35 PM):_ …

Kageyama _(3.35 PM):_ so are u going to tell me or not? Can u just get on with it and stop wasting my time???

Tsukishima _(3.35 PM):_ well we’re clearly NOT Supposed to talk about it so im NOT going to

Kageyama _(3.35 PM):_ …

Kageyama _(3.36 PM):_  cockblocker

Tsukishima _(3.35 PM):_ WOW, big word alert

Tsukishima _(3.35 PM):_ as a pun on your t-shirt and general attitude towards volleybal,

Tsukishima _(3.35 PM):_  Can I call you blueballs-for-life in return?

 

_You have one new message from Kageyama Tobio!_

Kageyama _(3.35 PM):_ why do u keep playing with your phone while we’re eating?? How old are you, dumbass?

Hinata _(3.35 PM):_ I was on facebook and stuff, what does that have to do with you?

Kageyama _(3.35 PM):_ facebook my ass. I’m just warning u, the senpais are onto ur phone addiction, I overhead them

Hinata _(3.35 PM):_ Go away kageyama!

Kageyama _(3.36 PM):_ and remember not to talk about what happened ytd!

Kageyama _(3.36 PM):_ oi dumbass!

Kageyama _(3.36 PM):_ u better have read this 

 

_You have three new messages from Sawamura!_

Sawamura _(3.34 PM):_ So we have an understanding?

Sawamura _(3.34 PM):_ You drop the issue with us calling cops on Kai, and I’ll drop the issue over Asahi’s harassment and mental wellbeing

Sawamura _(3.34 PM):_ tho honestly you can barely compare the two of them, it’s hardly fair – Asahi has PTSD thanks to you guys and I can just barely get Noya to stop being suspicious

Kuroo _(3.34 PM):_ And all those involved swear that they are never to speak of those incidents ever again.

Kuroo _(3.34 PM):_ You’re exaggerating. Kai almost went to JAIL.

Sawamura _(3.34 PM):_ No come on it wasn’t that serious. Plus Nobuyuki’s a minor! And yes we swear, thank god

Kuroo _(3.35 PM):_ Fuck yes. But what about your exchange dude? Does he understand?

Sawamura _(3.35 PM):_ he didn’t even know that something like that had occurred…

Kuroo _(3.36 PM):_ Not the smartest block, huh?

Sawamura _(3.36 PM):_ that's not it. He just trusted me and Suga to handle things, alright? 

 

_You have two new messages from Daichi!_

Daichi _(3.36 PM):_ You need to let it go, Suga

Daichi _(3.37 PM):_ Time to let him go.

Suga _(3.37 PM):_ Don’t worry Daichi, it’s not about him.

Daichi _(3.37 PM):_ Suga… no.

Suga _(3.37 PM):_ It’s the tattoo

Daich _(3.38 PM):_ Suga I KNOW Oikawa made that up just to spite you in return for that letter

Suga _(3.38 PM):_ I just need to know if Iwaizumi has a tattoo on his back

Daichi _(3.38 PM):_ He’s clearly just messing with you

Daichi _(3.38 PM):_ And besides, no self-respecting teenager will carry around condoms in his wallet in this age and time

Suga _(3.38 PM):_ I can’t let Oikawa one-up me like this.

Daichi _(3.38 PM):_ Because you don’t have a tattoo???

Suga _(3.40 PM):_ Because you don't have one

 

_You have one new message from Kozume Kenma!_

Kenma _(3.40 PM):_ Shouyou. Thanks for ytd, even tho it didn’t work out

Hinata _(3.40 PM):_ OMG Kenma! Am I glad to hear from u!!

Hinata _(3.40 PM):_ are u alright??

Hinata _(3.40 PM):_ my team members are all telling me to shut up about it but I just cant I need to vent I need to talk I cant keep all of this pent up omgggggg its like killing me

Hinata _(3.40 PM):_ it was so SCARY at the train station when that BIG TALL BALD GUY just came up from behind you and SNATCHED u off the ground. He looked exactly like one of those hugeeee African-American spies in those Hollywood movies, straight out of that Impossible Mission: Rage Nation movie!!!!

Kenma _(3.40 PM):_ sry for freaking you out. Are you alright?

Hinata _(3.41 PM):_ but then the way u ducked and evaded him WITHOUT LOOKING was UBER NINJA-LEVEL COOL. What ARE the games you play that give you such good reflexes in real life??? I really really wanna know!! it'll be so useful in volleyball if i can whip out some parkour moves on the spot whlie trying to receive the balls and

Kenma _(3.41 PM):_ … Shouyou, do you watch a lot of American movies?

Hinata _(3.42 PM):_ no…

Hinata _(3.42 PM):_ im so embarrassed that I got daichi-san and suga-san to panic and call the cops >.<

Hinata _(3.42 PM):_ im so shit at remembering faces kageyama and tsukishim’s been laughing at me for that non-stop

 

_You have three new messages from Asahi!_

Asahi _(3.42 PM):_ it’s a welcome back party, but hardly anyone is eating…

Asahi _(3.42 PM):_ everyone’s just distracted with their phones…

Asahi _(3.42 PM):_ Suga?

* * *

 

 **Yaku Morisuke > Haiba Lev **What the fuck did you do. _(4.00 PM)_

_Kuroo Tetsurou, Tendou Satori and Shirabu Kenjirou and 30 others like this._

**Kuroo Tetsurou** #RIPlev _(4.01PM) 31 likes._

 **Yamamoto Taketora** #RIPlev _(4.01 PM)_

 **Nobuyuki Kai** #RIPlev _(4.01 PM)_

 **Inuoka Sou** #RIPlev _(4.01 PM)_

 **Hinata Shouyou** Okay I dunno what’s going on but?? #RIPlev just in case _(4.02 PM)_

 **Haiba Lev** omgomgomg #RIPlev #RIPme #spareme #victim #innocent #help  _(4.02 PM)_

 

 **Oikawa Tooru** uploaded a photo: _Bae is back_ at Aoba Johsai High with **Iwaizumi Hajime**. _(5.24 PM)_

_Oikawa Tooru, Kyoutani Kentarou, Iwaizumi Hajime and 75 others like this._

**Hanamaki Takahiro** Why didn’t you tag the rest of us? Where’re the other pics? _(5.25 PM) 19 likes._

 **Iwaizumi Hajime** Stop liking your own photos _(5.25 PM)_

 **Sugawara Koushi** Really sorry that you’re gone! _(5.26 PM) 10 likes._

 **Kyoutani Kentarou**  finafuckingly _(5.27 PM) 12 likes._

 

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi** Fukurodani was indeed impressive. Thank you for looking after me. This was a productive experience, and next time I’ll like to swap to Aoba Johsai. But for now, time to return to Shiratorizawa. _(6.47 PM)_

_Shirabu Kenjiro, Tanji Washijou, Haiba Lev and 57 others like this._

            **Hanamaki Takahiro** @Oikawa Tooru _(7.03 PM) 36 likes._

            **Matsukawa Issei** @Oikawa Tooru _(7.03 PM)_

            **Kunimi Akira** @Oikawa Tooru (7.03 PM)

 **Kageyama Tobio**  why don’t you swap to Karasuno next time  _(7.08 PM)_

**Bokuto Koutarou** checked in at  Fukurodani Academy: FINALLY HOME WITH MY OWL CREW DID YOU GUYS MISS ME??!! _(7.00PM)_

_Kuroo Tetsurou, Hinata Shouyou, Akaashi Keiji and 45 others like this._

            **Akaashi Keiji** Yes. _(7.03 PM) 50 likes._

                        **Bokuto Koutarou** AKAAAASHIIIIIIII.  _(7.03 PM)_

 **Kuroo Tetsurou** Bro you can’t just make him type that _(7.05 PM) 25 likes._

 **Bokuto Koutarou** I didn’! _(7.06 PM)_ _17 likes._

 

 **Bokuto Koutarou > Oikawa Tooru** No hard feelings right bro? _(7.30 PM)_

 _Sarukui Yamoto,_   _Akinori_ Konoha, _Haruki Komi and 3 others like this._

 **Akaashi Keiji** Sorry for the inconvenience caused… _(7.32 PM) 33 likes._

 **Bokuto Koutarou** @Akaashi Keiji Hey you didn’t like this post!!! _(7.35 PM)_

 **Kuroo Tetsurou** HAHAHAHAHAHAHA _(7.40 PM) 18 likes._

 

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi > Oikawa Tooru **I am extremely sincere about swapping to Aoba Johsai. Would it be possible for the two of our schools to arrange something? _(7.25 PM)_

            **Kageyama Tobio** Come to Karasuno I’ll toss to you _(7.31 PM)_

 **Hinata Shouyou** Kageyama stop being awkward on Facebook!! _(7.32 PM)_

 

 **AOBA JOHSAI Men’s Volleyball Club (Official)** uploaded 10 photos to the album “Ace Exchange Program with Fukurodani Academy” with _Bokuto Koutarou and 20 others (7.36 PM). “_ Bringing together one of the top aces – number 4, Bokuto-kun – with the best setter in Japan, Oikawa Tooru, our captain! Is there a dreamier combination than this?? "Seijou’s great! They run like a really fast and powerful sports car, and when I came in, I basically came in as the driver!” says Bokuto… (read more)”

_Bokuto Koutarou, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Kindaichi Yuutarou and 323 others like this._

**Bokuto Koutarou** Give me the chance again and I’ll definitely come back! _(7.38 PM) 58 likes._

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi** Best Ace in Miyagi Prefecture, ranked 3rd nation-wide; on the Japan National Team. Third-year and captain of @SHIRATORIZAWA Boys’ Volleyball Official. I think that I would be quite a suitable candidate, too _(7.41 PM) 101 likes._

**Oikawa Tooru** Fuck you all I’m quitting Facebook. _(7.55 PM)_

* * *

 

_New messages in the chatroom with 4 others_

Shiratorizawa’s Coach _(8.13 PM):_ Never again.

Fukurodani’s Coach _(8.13 PM):_ I don’t know what to say. Seriously, that’s the way you treat your setters? By leaving them entirely to the mercy of your Ushiwaka-kun?

Ukai _(8.13 PM):_ Why?? My kids loved it

Shiratorizawa’s Coach _(8.14 PM):_ Who’s Ushiwaka? I’ve never heard of an Ushiwaka

Seijou’s Coach _(8.14 PM):_ Speak for yourself Fukurodani what the hell is wrong with your ace

Seijou’s Coach _(8.14 PM):_ I swear to god if he’s somehow caused Oikawa to become permanently traumatized or something there will be fucking consequences

Seijou’s Coach _(8.14 PM):_ He’s the best damned setter in the whole of Japan for god’s sake I’ve never seem him so close to tears

Fukurodani’s Coach _(8.14 PM):_ My Akaashi needs meditation therapy now

Seijou’s Coach _(8.14 PM):_ And you Karasuno seriously call your kids off, stop harassing Oikawa

Fukurodani’s Coach _(8.15 PM):_ Ushiwaka is Ushijima stop pretending that you don't know old man

Nekomata-gramps _(8.15 PM):_ So I understand that my kids haven’t been properly checking up on Haiba-kun but what is this I hear about his torture, gang rape and necrophilia over there, Shiratorizawa. For goodness sake stop avoiding me.

Shiratorizawa Coach _(8.17 PM):_ I’m avoiding you because you’re being ridiculous and should not be taken seriously. What in the fuck Nekoma, are you insane? Or inane?

Ukai _(8.17 PM)_ : Okay look here grandpas all of you need to chill before one of you overexerts himself and then ends up hospitalized like my gramps

Seijou’s Coach _(8.18 PM):_ I’m the same goddamned age as you!!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #RIPlev! Sorry for the one week delay in this final chapter update! Thanks to all of your comments and thoughts on the previous chapters, I got even more inspired in my writing, and as a result, re-wrote several characterizations (Lev's part got a major upgrade, he was originally just text comic-relief), introduced completely new characters (like Shiratorizawa) and plotlines (like a lot) into this glorious mess of stressed out captains and aces. This chapter took me forever, I was worried about it coming off as anti-climatic - but with a final chapter and a completed fic! Thank you for all your outpouring of love and support! This is a fic that wouldn't have been possible without this fandom and its' memes, is what I really want to say.


End file.
